Cognitive Capacity #8 - Trust

“The neural platform for morality is built from the same basic circuitry that we use for attachment and social bonding. From that platform, we learn to trust and care.”
(Braintrust, 2011)

It may be strange to think of trust as a cognitive capacity, but similar to discernment, Trust is one of the most critical element of navigating social interactions.  In fact, there is no point in discernment if there is no trust.  A student who does not trust cannot connect.  They protect themselves with walls that block information and relationship with others.  

Developing trust between yourself and a student is one thing, but even more important is the general ability to understand what is happening when interacting with others, or oneself.  Students who struggle with trust, often do not trust themselves.  Everything becomes overwhelming and bewildering.  In this state of distrust, there is a continuous stress response, high cortisol levels interfere with learning and memory.

Trust is an Ability.  It can be developed.
In developmental psychology trust is a core competency.  From infancy, trust forms the foundation of all social-emotional learning. Erikson’s stages highlight it as the first developmental task. Failure to develop basic trust leads to insecurity, anxiety, and relationship difficulties later on. In Attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth) shows that secure attachment creates an inner sense of safety from which exploration, learning, and empathy emerge. Insecure or disorganized attachment correlates with distrust and emotional dysregulation.  Thus, trust becomes an adaptive capacity--a learned filter for navigating the world of relationships.
Trust is mapped in the brain.  Virginia Churchland, a leading neurophilosopher, writes on on social neuroscience, morality, and attachment in her book Braintrust: What Neuroscience Tells Us About Morality.
Trust as a Neurobiological Phenomenon
Churchland argues that morality--and by extension trust--is deeply rooted in biology, not just culture or reason.  Trust begins in attachment: The mammalian brain evolved to care for offspring. This caregiving system--based on oxytocin and vasopressin--was later extended to mates, kin, and eventually social groups. So, trust begins not in abstract reasoning, but in felt safety and bonding.  Oxytocin and trust: She discusses how oxytocin promotes bonding and reduces fear--helping mammals (including humans) feel safe enough to trust. Trust, then, is biologically scaffolded--it emerges from neural systems built for nurturing.

Churchland suggests that trust was evolutionarily advantageous:  Animals that could cooperate--through trust--were more likely to survive.  Humans, especially, depended on social cohesion. So trust became a cognitive-emotional strategy for navigating complex social environments.
In this way, trust is not naive--it’s a strategic behavior deeply tied to survival, regulated by brain systems that weigh risk, past experience, and social cues.  In Braintrust, Churchland makes the case that moral behavior, including when to trust and when to withhold trust, is learned through: social experience, trial-and-error, and feedback from trusted caregivers
So trust is not fixed--it’s developmental and shaped by the environment, brain chemistry, cultural norms.  Her work shows that we can help build this powerful ability.  

Discernment: The Capacity to Perceive Clearly
Discernment is the evaluative function of consciousness. It involves:

• Analyzing and judging the reliability, safety, or truth of something.
• Drawing distinctions: Is this safe or unsafe? True or false? Good or harmful?
• Integrating perception, memory, reasoning, and moral awareness.

It’s more cognitive, more conscious, and typically associated with the prefrontal cortex--where critical thinking and decision-making happen.

Discernment asks:
"What do I see?"
"Is this what it seems?"
"Does this align with my values and experiences?"

Trust: The Capacity to Risk Connection
Trust is the relational function of consciousness. It involves:

• Letting go of control and allowing another person or process to influence you.
• Allowing vulnerability--choosing openness when you cannot be certain of the outcome.
• Releasing excessive vigilance to allow connection, learning, or intimacy.

 
How They Interact

• Discernment protects trust. Without it, we trust blindly--falling into naivety or repeating harmful patterns.
• Trust enables discernment to be useful. Without trust, we stay locked in suspicion, analysis paralysis, or emotional disconnection.

Discernment without trust leads to isolation. Trust without discernment leads to danger.

Together, they form a mature social and moral compass. The goal is to raise young people who can discern wisely and trust courageously--able to recognize truth, stand in integrity, and still risk the openness required for real connection.

Trust is more affective, more felt, and related to attachment systems and social-emotional regulation.
Trust asks:
"Can I allow myself to be influenced here?"
"Do I feel safe enough to open?"
"Is there room for me to soften and receive?"

The Web of Human Flourishing: Trust, Connection, Love, and Intimacy
From the moment we are born, we are wired for connection. The infant’s cry, the parent’s soothing touch, the gaze between two people--these are not just emotional exchanges, but neural activators, immune regulators, and lifelong pattern-shapers. At the center of it all is trust--the foundational condition that makes connection possible.

How They Are Connected

• Trust is the openness to being in relationship without constant fear or defense.
• Human connection is the experience of shared presence--being seen, known, and accepted.
• Love is the emotional bond that deepens connection and brings meaning to our shared existence.
• Intimacy is the willingness to be known fully--in our vulnerability, flaws, hopes, and needs.

Each depends on the other:

You can’t love without some level of trust.
You can’t feel intimacy without connection.
And you can’t sustain connection without emotional safety, which arises from trust.

Connection is the #1 predictor of resilience after trauma. Love gives life purpose--not just romance, but friendship, mentorship, belonging. In the end, people don’t regret what they didn’t own--they regret the love they didn’t give or receive.
We are not isolated minds floating in meat suits--we are relational beings, braided into one another’s nervous systems. Trust is the doorway, love is the glue, and connection is the lifeblood of a meaningful life.
Teaching children to build, repair, and cherish these bonds is not a sideline of education--it is the essence of it.