Acknowledgement Pages

I was looking through some of my dear friend Melody's belongings.  She passed away a few months ago.  She was 72, but she had the mind of a young girl and we loved to have her at all of our events.  She was one of our favorite Ambassadors of Kindness.  

Melody was often misunderstood.  Although it was clear to me that she had some cognitive differences, she didn't have downs syndrome (like her brother) and she didn't have any identifiable disorder.  She looked to me to have Williams Syndrome, since I have a cousin with this syndrome, and Melody has all the earmarks.  But she was never tested, and so people just saw her as different, and sometimes irrational.  

I had that chance to be a good friend to Melody, and often saw her get frustrated and upset.  However, when we started the Ambassadors of Kindness with her, she started focusing on being good.  I could use language to help her get over her frustrations and guide her to the positive choices for her responses.  I wish her family could have had these tools.  Perhaps they would have been closer.  Most of the time, when we see a family member acting poorly we just tell them to "act right" or you will get it. 

So much of schools has been based on correcting errors.  I don't know if your school did this, but many schools will give children strikes, or move their clip down the thermometer.  This type of punitive approach in fact can have the opposite effect.  I can cause a student to focus on their own weaknesses, and see themselves as bad.  It is also a way of getting attention, which every student craves.  There is another way.  It is time now to focus on "energizing" successes.  This will be putting attention where it will give the best results.

This is the approach of Positive Psychology, and it is not just about giving everyone an A, or everyone gets a trophy. Positive psychology is based on solid science. It works by truly recognizing and honoring each individual's gifts.  It is not superficial, feel good praise.   It is not about saying "good job" or some generic praise.  It has to be specific.  It is an acknowledgement for demonstrating something good.  The outcome is that students will show more of these positive behaviors. 

We don't always get recognized for the positive things we do, and sometimes we don't even know we are doing something good.  When we acknowledge the positive, it bring awareness in the moment to the action, and that awareness can have a profound effect on someone's connection to their own inner self.  For example, when someone works through a problem, and doesn't give up.  I can acknowledge their determination.  Now the student recognizes the action and feeling of being determined.  They can draw on that when needed in difficult situations.  They can start to see themselves as having that quality.

Even if you don't have a book, or don't care a wit about the AOK program, you can start to notice and acknowledge all the good things folks do around you.  Remember your kind words ripple out into the world and come back to you many, many times.